The 5 rights of a real estate seller

As spring starts picking up some real estate markets across the United States, we thought it would be important to address the rights of real estate sellers. Did you know there is a homeowner's constitution so that when you sell your house, your rights are fundamentally protected from overly aggressive real estate agents and low-balling real estate buyers? 

Here are the 5 fundamental rights of real estate sellers:

1. The right to multiple services. When you hire a real estate agent, you are not just hiring a local real estate expert. You are hiring a housekeeper, a dog walker, a grounds keeper and an interior decorator all wrapped up into the package commonly known as a REALTOR. If you do not receive all of these services and more, consider your rights as a real estate seller to have been violated.

2. The right to keep your house in chaotic disorder. Have you ever heard the myth that your house should be in pristine, clean, builder-ready shape when you put it on the real estate market to sell? Forget that. Who has time to keep up with real estate showings and messy handprints that grace your white walls? Certainly not a motivated real estate seller. Leave your house and its finer points alone. No worries, real estate buyers will easily be able to envision themselves in your house with your dirty laundry.  This is your right as a real estate seller. 

3. The right to the highest offer--EVER. You know your house was built with gold bricks. You know the value of your real estate investment should be doubling every few years. And although comparable houses in your market are selling for $20,000-$50,000 less than what you want to list for--who cares? Real estate buyers will see the value of your custom-built, 2-bedroom, 1 1/2 bath bungalow ... I mean, castle. List on the high side. Real estate buyers will be lining up outside your door ready to bid over list price to buy your house. May the highest offer win.  It is your right to win as a real estate seller.

4. The right to repair not one thing. There is a reason why it's a real estate buyer's expense to have a home inspection. Any fundamental  problems with the house--you know, leaky roof, mold in the basement, overfused electrical circuit box, etc.--would have already been taken into consideration of the just and reasonable listing price of the house. However, any cosmetic items--torn wallpaper, outdated paint in the bathroom, dark wood cabinets in the kitchen--are the seller's responsibility. After all, it's all about the looks. Major mechanics and structure aren't all that important. Why do you think women wear 5-inch, high-heeled shoes? Same premise with a house. So get ready to crank out the paint if it becomes an issue. This is your responsibility as a real estate seller.

5. The right to a smooth close of escrow. The big day has come and anticipation has made you a bit giddy. Feel free to uncork that bottle of champagne, because according to the homeowner's constitution, you are entitled to a smooth closing. That's right, everyone--even your attorney--will be on time. All the closing figures on the settlement statement will be 100% accurate. The mortgage documents for your real estate buyer will be delivered on time and no last-minute changes will need to be made. And most importantly, there will be no delays. Rest assured that even on the last day of the month, your 9 a.m. scheduled closing will start at 9 a.m on the dot. Smooth sailing on closing waters is your right as a real estate seller.

Now that you know your rights as a homeowner selling your house, go forth and prosper. Remember, use your newfound rights wisely.

DISCLAIMER: This post was written 100% tongue-in-cheek and contains not a shred of factual information. It was written in a state of humor and fun, and was not meant to be a post of educational means. For accurate real estate advice and information, make sure to consult a local real estate professional.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read:

• This dirty little secret cost me $50
• Home Buyers: Three real estate agents share unexpected house findings

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Posted by Rebecca D. Levinson

Comments

[Michael Tarabotto]

Now this is a classic. Nice Rebecca, very nice.